Emmitt's Fix It Shop has no physical existence; we are virtual and only exist in the mind of our illustrious proprietor. We do not do repairs or restorations for others, sell how-to DVD's to the public or hold ourselves out for consultation fees or speaking engagements. We all have day jobs that allow us the freedom to do whatever suits our fancy in our off hours.

As such, we hold no business licenses, pay no taxes, deal with no unhappy customers and have no solicitors knocking at our door trying to sell the next "last adhesive you'll ever use." In short, life's wonderful. Of course, we make no money either, but in the scheme of things, that ain't all that bad.

So please, don't contact us to repair your dear Aunt Edna's treasured tea service or the urn that holds (held?) Grandpa Ned's remains. It's just not going to happen.

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Emmitt (on the right) and the staff